I just write about what I should write ..

You know what I truly despise about us humans? We look at a person but we don’t really see them.

It’s just so frustrating sometimes when i meet new people and notice how all they care ..
What the hell? What happened to actually getting to know the person? Talking and connecting to them? Life-experiences and all that?

While growing up I’ve been subjected to both, wealth and the false respect that comes with it and being batshit poor - as in empty fridge in the middle of the month and no money for better fitting clothes kind of poor. My childhood was a rollercoaster ride with ups and downs, with parents who went from image focused and distant to neglective and borderline abusive at times.
I learned to cherish the few things I had and what is really important. And let me tell you, its not what you own. Its the little things that make you smile, those few moments you cherish till the end of time. That’s whats important. And nothing else.
But I also learned to fake it, to pull up a wall between my emotions and the outside world. I was a sensitive and empathetic child, I cared and I was nice and respectful and all that, I was a good little girl who did as she was told even if she didn’t understand why she wasn’t allowed to be like all the other kids.

You want to know what happens to children like that when they have to grown up too fast and way too early, when they have a family but don’t know what that’s supposed to mean? when kindness is something they’ve never received? When friendship is something that “just ain’t worth it” because trust is just a five letter word to us?

They learn to hide who they truly are and to NOT GIVE A DAMN.

Doesn’t mean we don’t care or don’t feel. We’ve learned to ignore those feelings, to smile and maybe smirk, to joke and to lie. We’re suspicious and always expect the worst. We walk away before others can, we burn bridges because it’s easier that to have faith in others. We forgive but never forget. We don’t know how to trust and sometimes we don’t even want to try. Sometimes we say sorry for things that don’t need apologizing.
We don’t know how to show that we care like others, we’re subtil about it. We might lash out verbally when you get too close and we know how to make it count.
We tend to see ever fricking shade of grey possible between black and white.


So just consider this the next time you meet someone new:

+ what you might see as arrogance, could just be well conceiled fear that shows as confidence.
+ what you might see as cold and distant, could just as well be someone who isn’t used to be touched or huged.
+ when the person you’ve meet doesn’t call you, but smiles and seems happy when you meet them again, could just be the simple fact that they don’t know if you want to meet them again.
+ when they look at you with mild or bewildered curiosity it might just be that they truly don’t understand the feeling behind you’re reaction.
+ sarcams is a very effective defence mechamisn, not just someone who’s trying to be funny.
+ when someone wordlessly walks out on you in the middle of a heated argument or a fight about to happen, doesn’t have to mean they don’t care, it could just be that they are terrified of what might happen. That you might hurt them.
+ when someone doesn’t have the newest or most expencive things just might be because the value other things more and are happy with what they have.
+ when someone doesn’t talk about their problems doesn’t mean they don’t have any, just that you might not have looked enough
+ Sometimes it’s not what someone says, but what they don’t. Pay attention to more than just the words.

thats it, just had to get that of my chest…it kinda derailed and I went a tad off topic…it’s obviously too close too home.
don’t judge me for ranting. and I didn’t mean to offend anyone. Sorry.

If you had this time again

Would you do it all the same?

I wonder?

Oh, would I?….

Of the promises we made

Is there anything you’d change

In the re-runs of our lives?

If I could call you for a day

Just to hear the words you’d say

I would….

OH

All the Colours that you bring

All come rushing back again

All the places that we’ve been

This time…

All the people that you knew

They’ll come running back to you

All the faces that we’ve seen

This life…

And we never took the time

To see where we were going

We were only passing by

And we never questioned why

The river keeps on flowing

The beauty of the ride

If I could call you for a day

Just to hear the words you’d say

I would

Oh

The river flows….

The river flows…

 

                                                     Love : Emma Hewitt 

Bukan raga kita yang jauh, namun hati yang begitu sulit tuk saling menyentuh

Terkadang kita harus menjauh agar akan ada insan yang bisa sudi menyedari ketiadaan kita

Terkadang kita harus menyepi agar akan ada insan yang bisa digamit rindu dikala hilangnya kita

Terkadang kita jua harus sembunyi agar akan ada insan yang bisa mengerti apa itu pencarian

Terkadang kita jua harus mendingin agar akan ada insan yang bisa memikirkan tentang perasaan kita

Dan

Aku tertanya-tanya

Masih adakah insan yang sudi untuk itu?

Sesungguhnya insan yang paling diharapkan itu adalah diri kau

Adakah kau sudi?

Adakah kau mengerti?

Aku di sini

Di hentian ini

Masih berharap

Semoga ruang itu menjengah ada

Datang menghulurkan suatu kesudian

I will want to fly away.

You keep me tethered since yesterday.

And when all’s fair and lost

I’ll clip my wings

smiling. I know no other way.

Everyone says that love hurts. But that’s not true. Loneliness hurts, rejection hurts, losing someone hurts. Everyone confuses these with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again

Love lost is yet another lesson forever learned

Normal people forget people which disappear after a time. But then there are humans which lose others but then they are remembering every day the people which had disappeared and they are thinking of every situation from the past they had & love them still to death. Of the end of Time. .. - Like I do,every single day.

I’m loving who I’ve become. I look at a picture and I realize I am that person that stayed good through all of the bad. Not many can do that. And as long as I hold onto that fact, life will always be good.

And if I can say one thing to my future kids, other than I love you, it would be always love yourself.

Aku berjalan, mencoba menjalani hidup sesuai nilai-nilai kebenaran dan kenyataan yang aku pegang, mematikan pikiran-pikiran pembenaran yang sering terlintas, tidak peduli apa kata mereka katakan walau seisi dunia menghujat tanda tak sepakat;

Aku berlari, berlari mempercepat akselerasi diri, sesekali waktu bahkan mengambil loncatan untuk mendewasakan keyakinan, pemikiran, untuk kemudian terimplementasi melalui tindakan;

Ya menunggu hingga bertemu, karena aku tahu engkau pasti datang dan kita pasti bertemu, aku harap di pertemuan kita nanti akan terlukis senyum lebar di wajah ini, nanti;

Penghujung waktu…

I am forever grateful to you.

I will be forever changed by you.

I will be forever blessed to know you.

I will forever love you.

in every way possible, I adore you. You came along when I was at my lowest, and you picked me up. I’ve fallen in love with you because your heart is made out of gold. You do nothing but make me happy, even when I’m upset, I am still happy. I know I can go to sleep with a smile on my face because of you. This year as being officially yours has made me open my eyes up to how a relationship really works. I really lucked out when it came to you, and I am so thankful you’re with me now. I love you more than words can explain and you’re truly everything I want in life.

You think it’s just 3 little words. But, with those 3 words, I say SO much more

Roses are red 

Violets are blue 

You love me 

And i love you

All i know is that

My love is ever true

Everything’s going to be alright maybe not today but eventually

a y u j o e s h a :')

It’s the little things that make you hold on to things you should have let go of a long time ago. It’s the little things that make you smile, things that certain people do and they don’t even know they made you smile. But you hold on to that smile, that smile that is some sort of hope. And you can only hope that it gets better.

Don’t give up hope. It always happens when you least expect it 

They can’t just be wiped clean away. You have to work hard to make things right. You may not know how but if it’s something you care about you sure as hell will find a way and if you can’t you’ll MAKE AWAY. Don’t be a coward, don’t run away from it. You want true forgiveness EARN it.

Rembulan VS Matahari

Rembulan tak pernah menyatakan cintanya pada Matahari. Rembulan tahu bahwa ia sangat mencintai Matahari meski tata surya ini hancur sekalipun. Tetapi ia kenapa tetap tdk mau mengatakannya.

Kenapa ia begitu bodoh dan keras kepala?

Rembulan itu takut ketika ia mengutarakan cintanya, ia akan kehilangan gravitasinya dan jatuh entah kemana. Rembulan tetap bersikeras untuk tidak mengatakannya. dan mulutnya bungkam seribu bahasa
Rembulan hanya bisa mengungkapkan cinta itu lewat perilakunya pada Matahari. Mengajaknya bermain, membuatnya tertawa, dan memberikannya kebahagiaan.

Apa selamanya akan seperti itu?

Rembulan tahu bahwa ia tidak bisa selamanya berlaku seperti itu. Ia tahu bahwa mungkin saja Matahari akan padam atau pergi meninggalkannya, tahu bahwa mungkin saja ia akan jatuh ke Bumi atau hancur kejatuhan meteorit, dan tahu bahwa suatu saat Tuhan akan mengobrak-abrik tata surya.Tapi, mulutnya selalu bungkam seribu bahasa 

When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else.

If you’re reading this and feel like the world would be better off without you, or that you’ve hit rock bottom…the world wouldn’t be the same without you, and give it time, things do get better. Please never give up.

Setak-bergunanya aku, bahkan kamu enggan mengerti.

Setak-berartinya aku, bahkan aku pun terabaikan.

Setak-bermaknanya aku, hingga aku menjadi satu dari tumpukan yang terlupakan.

Aku hanyalah lalat hijau yang terbang dan hinggap di ujung sedotan minumanmu.

Aku hanyalah spasi di antara huruf terakhir dan tanda baca, yang hanya memisahkan, tanpa arti.

Aku hanyalah sisa-sisa karet penghapus yang terpisah setelah membersihkan dosamu, dengan luka.

Bagaimana kamu pernah begitu menginginkan aku, lalu kemudian seolah aku yang terlalu menginginkanmu.

Dan tentang segala kata maaf yang bahkan bukan salahku.

Dan tentang segala duka yang pernah kusembunyikan di balik semua bahagiaku.

Dan kamu yang pernah selalu memanjakan perihnya lukaku. Dengan membuat aku tersenyum

Aku hanyalah aku, yang tak pernah kamu akui keberadaanku 

Jangan ditanya seberapa tumpul otakku untuk berpikir. 

Yang berulang kali patah tetap saja kurekatan kembali dengan hati-hati memakai peniti. 

Karena basah pipi kian karib denganku kelip kota di kejauhan memanggilku pulang hanya kulirik saja. 

Bisa kutukar milyaran helaan dengan satu tarikan nafas lega? Akan kutambahi dengan bergelas-gelas air mata bila kamu mau.

Akan lebih mudah jika bumi tetap bulat seutuhnya

Bukan bulat namun terkotak-kotak di dalamnya

Andaikan mencintai seseorang itu adalah kehendak merdeka

Yang tak perlu dihakimi, ditatap heran, atau terlampau menyiksa

Aku dan kamu adalah dua kurva yang berpotongan rapi

Walau aku tak sepenuhnya paham irisan yang menjembatani kita

Ada sesuatu, ada hal, ada beberapa

Ada kata yang tidak terucap, sentuh yang tidak sampai

Ada lagu yang terputus-putus, langkah yang terbata-bata

Kita sama-sama dewasa, sama-sama bisa saling mengerti

Pertanyaannya, apakah kamu merasakan apa yang aku rasakan?

Aku berfikir tadi nya sama .. 

Aku kepada mu sama dengan Aku kepada teman teman ku yang lain.

Tapi saat aku menurunkan 1 oktaf nada suaraku saat bicara dengan mu, dan mungkin ini sudah tidak sama.

Aku mulai ingin terlihat santun di depan mu, ini sudah agak menjanggal.

Sampai pada saatnya, aku mulai mengerti saat mataku sudah menyerah membalas tatapan mu yang memang sekedarnya.

Tampaknya, ada yang ingin aku sembunyikan.

Tidak semua rasa bisa terungkap indah oleh kata. 

Kamu tahu, aku tahu, maka cukup waktu yang berbicara.

 Ya, terkadang rasa itu lebih indah tatkala terasa, bukan terucap hanya dengan bahasa. Saat bahasa mewujudkan rasa dalam kata, sebagian makna akan menguap lenyap. Seperti misteri yang telah terpecahkan. 

Kamu tahu, aku tahu, maka cukup waktu saja yang bicara dalam bahasa tanpa kata.

                                              With Love,

                                          A y u  . J o e s h a 

What you said and this is what I say =')

Ada saat nya hati itu memilih untuk pergi saat perasaan yg ada telah menghilang dan mati dalam hati..menjadi sederhana saat kamu berpikir untuk menyederhanakannya. dan perasaan itu, akan timbul menjadi rumit saat kamu berpikir rumit. Well be calm dear, dan perasaan itu wajar. Seperti kamu yang tumbuh dan berkembang, perasaan-pun jg seperti itu. Hanya saja, bedanya ia bekerja dengan hati. so Jika kamu salah mengarahkan hatimu, ia akan berkembang lebih dari perkiraanmu. Ia bisa saja membengkak dan akhirnya menyesakkan dadamu seperti ada tekanan gas dalam hati. dan jika kamu mengarahkannya sesuai dengan kehendak Sang Maha Pembolak-balik hati, ia akan berkembang dengan indah sesuai kapasitas hatimu ..

Dan sekurun-kurunnya waktu bahwa rindu tetaplah rindu dan tiada berlalu ..
Setahun-pun berlalu Terkadang ingin saja pergi menjauh.Tapi,Kenapa hati ini selalu memberkati??Wahai hati kenapa tak bisa kau permisi saja aku pergi dan biarkan aku terjaga, terjaga oleh sesuatu yg aku miliki saat ini ,, seseorang baru merasakan apa itu arti kesepian, dimana mereka telah merasakan bagaimana menjadi bersama-sama. dan ketika kebersamaan juga berarti menyakiti orang lain dan disakiti oleh yang lain pula, mungkin sebenarnya itu yang kita cari. (arti hidup :') )

Apa yang dunia katakan?

Menyibukkan diri untuk melakukan hal yang terbaik untuk dunia sepertinya akan lebih berarti dari pada harus meratapi , menangisi dan lepas harapan hidup karena cinta..Ada begitu banyak yang tidak kita tahu dan kita amati untuk sekitar apa org lain rasakan .. belajar untuk memperoleh pengetahuan dapat menciptakan prajurit-prajurit dengan kemampuan yang tak terbatas sepertinya akan lebih seru. Dan, menyelami laut yang menyimpan sejuta kejutan, menaiki puncak gunung dan serta memandangi bintang yang tanpa batas dan tidak pernah habis dihitung sepertinya akan lebih memberikan cerita yang sangat berharga untuk dapat kita ceritakan. Merawat para orangtua serta menceritakan kepada mereka tentang mimpi-mimpi kita dan mimpi apa yang telah diraih sepertinya terdengar lebih menghangatkan hati serta memulihkan jiwa kita yg sedang remuk.bukan? bukannya tdk ingin menuruti perintah sang pencipta alam semesta untuk segera memiliki pasangan,tetapi membiarkan saja pasangan itu yang memunculkan dirinya serta membahagikan orang lain saat ini. jika memang sudah digariskan pasti akan bertemu,maka bertemu. karena itu semua garis yg Tuhan takdirkan untuk kita.biarkan saja si pasangan itu nanti mengajari apa arti mencintai, dan menetapkan versi mencinta menurut kami setelah kami bertemu, karena tak kan sanggup sepertinya sakit berulang yang kita rasakan, ya pasti kalian sudah sangat bodoh sampai menerima sakit ini berulang terus.membantu tukik melangkah kedalam laut sepertinya lebih mudah dari pada mencoba membantu diri sendiri untuk memahami hal yang sangat abstrak antara 2 manusia..lebih mudah menyayangi semua hal dari pada memendam rasa benci untuk beberapa saja..semoga sang kekasih mengerti apa arti dari semua ini jadi putuskanlah untuk menghapus semua energi negative dari kamus pribadi kalian.mencicipi beragam jenis kopi dan makanan sepertinya lebih terasa menggiurkan dari pada merasakan beragam jenis hubungan antara 2 manusia yang abstraknya bukan main..apalagi bagi kalian yg pencinta kopi :') harum dan serupan-nya akan lebih teras nikmat jika kalian menikmatinya dan menghadapi ketakutan mengendarai motor yang pemacunya hingga kecepatan tertinggi sepertinya akan memberikan catatan yang lebih keren dalam perjalanan hidup saya dari pada membukukan rekor 30 orang pacar dan gagal terus sejak awal hahahaha... yah ada banyak hal tentang dunia yang bisa menyibukkan diri kalian sampai mati dari pada harus sibuk memikirkan jodoh seperti yang dianjurkan ibu saat hari lebaran tiba dan perayaan hari kelahiran…(LOH!!) karena yang menjalankan semua keputusan adalah kalian pastilah kembali pada diri sendiri. mungkin berdamai dengan diri adalah ujung akhir bahagia yang kita cari, dan ada banyak hal di dunia ini yang sudah pernah memberi kalian bahagia berkepanjangan dibandingkan dengan perjalanan panjang untuk memahami arti cinta dan pacar yang katanya berujung akhir memiliki pasangan bahagia sampai akhir…

I had everything a girl could ask for and it just all changed within seconds.

Happiness comes in many forms.
in the feeling you get when you make someone else’s dreams come true,
or in a promise of hope renewed.
It’s ok to let yourself be happy,
because you never know how great that happiness might be.
Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life,
that you expect it to always be there,
because you can’t remember a time in your life when it wasn’t.
But then one day you feel something else.
Something that feels wrong only because it’s so unfamiliar,
and in that moment you realize you’re happy.

"If everything seems under control, you’re just not going fast enough.”

Does it hurt you to know that I am happy even without you

I’m feeling this when you’re not answering my messages but you’re active.

With Love ,

Ayu Joesha - @aiujoesha

modified of heart .. just write =)

Pandai besi itu bukanlah seorang sang pemahat, yang selalu menempa dalam api memerah
dan ketika saja aku dapat melihat, mungkin memang aku akan marah 
Bermain air hilangkan gerah, tubuh basah letih pun mendekap
tetapi aku tak kan marah, justru maaf yang akan ku ucap
Dengan berpantun hilangkan kesepian,penat yang membawa
bisa jadi kita demikian, kar’na diri adalah sebaik-baik adalah cerminan =')

Bukan engkau yang bersalah, mungkin diri ini pula yang banyak berbuat tingkah
kar’na bisa jadi ketika kita berbuat baik di sini, takdir kita melakukan kebaikan pula di sana
saat kita berlaku tak benar di sini, mungkin ia sedang melakukan kekhilafan serupa di sana
kar’na mungkin sgala upaya yang kurang keras, niat yang kurang ikhlas, atau doa yang kurang deras
semoga jadi pemantik, agar kepantasan diri tak pernah merasa cantik, agar kita selalu berusaha menjadi pribadi yang lebih baik
kar’na Allah tak pernah ingkar menakdirkan yang baik untuk yang baik

Hey, kamu, iya yang sedang melihat ini :)
Kamu sudah dimaafkan, dan aku meminta maaf pula padamu atas kesalahan yang boleh jadi aku tak seberani dan sejujur dirimu untuk mengungkapnya di sini dengan tulisan. Semoga kita selalu jadi orang baik dan beruntung, yang hari ini lebih baik dari hari sebelumnya. Bisa? ;)

 Sebelum takdir tiba pada waktunya, teguhkan hatiku untuk meyakini bahwa rencana-Mu pasti jauh lebih baik dari mimpiku.

When will i speak

When will i speak for myself without fear?
When will i speak to you without love?
They all watch me, like hawks, trying to keep me from falling again. What they dont realize is you cant fall in if you never fell out. Why am i so afraid to tell them i want to try again? Its not anyones business but yours and mine. I have no time planned. No date comes to mind. All i can say is soon.

"Officially Missing You"
All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It won't go away
And today I'm officially missing you
I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain't no way
And today
I'm officially missing you

Oh can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I'm officially

All I do is lay around
Two ears full tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don't even know you at all
I don't know you at all
Well I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it's safe to say baby safe to say
That I'm officially missing you

Oh can't nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I'm officially

Well I thought I could just get over you baby
But I see that's something I just can't do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can't find a way
To let go of you

It's official
You know that I'm missing you
Yeah yes
All I hear is raindrops
And I'm officially missing you

 “Aim high, but do not aim so high that you totally miss the target. What really matters is that he will love you, that he will respect you, that he will honor you, that he will be absolutely true to you, that he will give you the freedom of expression and let you fly in the development of your own talents. He is not going to be perfect, but if he is kind and thoughtful, if he knows how to work and earn a living, if he is honest and full of faith, the chances are you will not go wrong, that you will be immensely happy.— Gordon B. Hinckley”

 I just want to tell you all that there is a way out of the darkness. Whether it’s an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, self harm, a bad day, a rough week, a break up, the loss of a loved one, a move, a new school, a new job, or a tough time, it will get better. I promise. Don’t give up. The only way it won’t get better is if you end it. Please stay strong and know that I’m rooting for you and I’m here for you and I love you.

“All the signs of life
They’re all around me with every heartbeat
I feel so alive,
I am joy and sadness,
Peace and madness
If only I can fight just a little longer
I know It’s gonna make me stronger.
So I’ll just keep holding on to what I believe
Oh, I believe in you
Give me the strength to fight
And the heart to believe
When it’s hard to believe in you.”

I

love love love love love love love love love
love love love love love love love love love love love
love can’t love love love love love love love love love love love love love
love love love love love love

Love love love love love love love love love love love love love love
love love love love love love love love exist love love love love love love
love love love love
love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love without love love

love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love

you.

 

 “Everyone has their own demons to fight, many need help but many choose to keep it to themselves as for thinking themselves as “bothersome” your demons are yours to fight but their easier to defeat with someone along side you who might have also faced the same demon. After you have defeated one you too will have battle scars to show and share the knowledge of how do defeat retched demons, the demon may at times have won the battle but you can ALWAYS win the war.” 

I'm sorry.

I’m sorry for my jealousy. I’m sorry for hurting you. I just care about you so much, I just can’t stand the thought of you loving someone besides me. I love you more than anything or anyone, and I just want you to be able to say the same. I’m so sorry that I get jealous, but I can’t really help it, although I’m trying so hard. All for you. All because I love you. I will never ever leave you. I said that and I meant it beautiful. I love you. I guess I’m just afraid that you’ll stop telling me when you need help. That you’ll go to them instead of me, and I just want to be the one who helps you. I try so hard to babe, I really do. I love you so much… Sorry for my jealousy.

Shit

there must be a reason why I can’t let you go, there must be a reason why we always end up coming back to each other again no matter what’s happened or how long we haven’t been talking for.
there’s nothing special about you, but to me everything about you is literally perfect
it worries me that ill always have something for you, and that something will stop me from meeting new people and getting a girlfriend and moving on
have you got that one person that you would die for and you would do anything to be with? that person where you both act like you dont care but you wont admit it hurts? that one person where you act like your together but you cant be with because its already too complicated? sometimes people were meant to fall in love but not be together

Some days, you'll feel sad without knowing why. Like you lost something very precious but forgot what it was, or you miss someone you never met. 

 “Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light.” and as another year passes I am grateful, simply from your presence.

 

 
(video and song of ME,creative ayujoesha :) )

I love seeing your face hearing your voice and getting to remember you in your most perfectly imperfect state…the way i felt to hug you, to hold you, just to be in the same space as you. Last night I had dreams of you  but waking up this morning feeling like I do knowing that you’re gone…nope…I can’t handle it. I miss you so much and I can’t fix it. I feel so empty when everyone around me works so hard to try and keep me happy…you’d be excited about the little things going on, but I don’t get to hear that creepy little excited voice you’d get. I still miss you and I know some things will just never change…

I want to remember him as that little light that is always here. That will guide me home. That will give me hope in the darkness. That tells me that giving up isn’t  option.   muach :*

 

 

Keeping Promises

I try and try but can never just give up I will always have a breaking point and relapse. I know this is going to be hard . I WILL ALWAYS CAVE IN AND FALL BACK TO MY OLD WAYS. I’m so so sorry….. I just can’t hold back anymore…

I know that you miss him and he’s the only thing on your mind right now. I know that the lack of sleep and the loss of appetite are eating at you everyday  I know that you cry yourself to sleep at night and hope tomorrow will be better. I know that you’re hurt and alone and abandoned. I know that he made promises and I know that he lied. I know that every time you get a text your face lights up because you think that maybe, just maybe it’s him. I know that your body trembles at the thought of him. I know that you didn’t expect to lose him. I know that every song reminds you of him, and you relate every quote to him. I know that you think that he’s the one for you. I know you compare every other guy to him. And I know you think that no other guy can compare to him. I know you reread old texts from him and wish you could turn back time. I know you think it’s your fault. I know you know it’s not.I know what you’re going through. I know that he doesn’t miss you and there’s a new girl on his mind. I know that he goes about each day like nothing ever happened.I know that he’s smiling, that he’s happy. I know he’s moving on.I know that he knows he broke promises. I know he doesn’t care. I know he’s not going to text you. He’s done with you. I know he doesn’t think about you. I know that he knew he was going to leave you. I know that all of ‘your songs’ don’t mean anything to him anymore. I know that he’s not the one for you. I know he doesn’t compare her to you. I know that he thinks you’re nothing special. I know that he’s not going back. I know he pretends it’s not his fault. I know he knows it is. I know he doesn’t care about what you’re going through. 

J O E S H A @aiujoesha